The Dance of Attachment

This evening, Ryan and I attended an Educational workshop offered through Bethany. The topic was on attachment - the affectionate bond between two individuals that endures through time to join one another emotionally. The speaker was Pat Johnston, an award winning author, adoption educator, and mother of three adopted children. She shared her attachment struggles with her youngest child. They adopted her when she was ten weeks old and previously she had been in two very different foster homes. She gave us a list of practical tips to help transition from the orphange in Ethiopia to suburbia in America.:-) Even for a young infant, the transition can be quite dramatic. I think an important, but difficult, tip that we learned was that Ryan and I should be the only ones to hold the child for the first two weeks home. This will help the child to know that we are his/her primary caregivers. (But that doesn't mean that family and friends can't visit. :-) This leads to the two key elements in attachment - stability and consistency. When I heard that this evening, I immediately thought of beginning each kindergarten year as a teacher. The first few weeks are critical for the students to be able to adjust and feel safe so my main goals are to develop stablility and consistency in the classroom. She reminded us to be patient because with infants, a rough estimate of how long the attachment process can take is to take how many months they have not been with you, and double it.



Update on Adoption paperwork and requirements:

I have finished the 8hr internet course and have read one book. Ryan has also read one book and is working his way through the internet course. We've both had our medical exams and have ordered our birth certificates and marriage license. (Thank you, mom, for picking up our marriage license at the courthouse!) We are excited to meet with Holly again this Saturday to continue the work on the Home Study. It is so encouraging to see it all coming together and to know that each completed step gets us that much closer to welcoming our child into our family!